As a care founder, you signed up for leadership, impact and freedom.
But you also signed up — whether you realised it or not — for difficult conversations.
You’ll need to:
- Address poor performance
- Challenge bad behaviour
- Handle complaints
- Talk through mistakes
- Say no to clients or referrals
- Navigate conflict within your team
And every single one of those conversations matters — because in the care sector, unresolved issues don’t just affect morale.
They affect people’s lives.
In this blog, we’re giving you a practical toolkit to approach hard conversations with clarity, confidence, and compassion — so you can lead like a founder, not just a manager.
Why Difficult Conversations Are So Important
Avoiding hard conversations leads to:
- Resentment
- Declining standards
- Team tension
- Poor client outcomes
- Reputational damage
But when done well, they can:
- Strengthen relationships
- Improve accountability
- Build trust
- Reinforce your values
Great founders don’t avoid tough talks — they lean in with empathy and clarity.
Step 1: Check Your Mindset First
The hardest part of any difficult conversation is you.
Before you speak to anyone else, take a moment to check your intention.
Ask yourself:
- Am I approaching this to shame or to support?
- Do I want to solve the issue or just offload my frustration?
- What outcome do I want from this?
Remember: Your tone sets the tone.
Go in calm, curious, and solution-focused.
Step 2: Use the ACT Framework
Here’s a simple structure for framing any difficult conversation:
A = Acknowledge the issue
Be direct, specific, and kind.
“I noticed you were late three times last week, and I wanted to understand what’s happening.”
C = Clarify the impact
Explain how it’s affecting the team, the client, or the business.
“When you’re late, it puts pressure on the next carer and risks continuity of care for the client.”
T = Talk solutions
Invite dialogue and agree on next steps.
“What can we put in place to make sure this doesn’t continue?”
This method keeps the conversation grounded, respectful, and forward-looking.
Step 3: Practice “Compassionate Directness”
It’s not about being “nice.” It’s about being clear and kind at the same time.
Here’s how:
Don’t say:
“This isn’t good enough — you always do this.”
Do say:
“I know this isn’t how you usually operate, and I want to help you get back on track.”
Being direct doesn’t mean being harsh.
It means being honest, timely, and focused on growth — not blame.
Step 4: Prepare — But Don’t Script
Before you have the conversation, jot down:
- The core issue
- The impact it’s having
- Your ideal outcome
- 1–2 supportive solutions you could offer
But don’t write a word-for-word script — it will sound robotic.
Instead, use bullet points to keep yourself anchored if emotions run high.
Tip: In Founder’s Circle, we provide ready-to-use templates for common conversations like performance reviews, disciplinary warnings, and client boundary setting.
Step 5: Anticipate Reactions — and Stay Grounded
Not everyone responds calmly to feedback — and that’s OK.
Some common reactions:
- Denial
- Defensiveness
- Tears
- Silence
- Anger
- “What about them?” comparisons
Your job is to:
- Stay calm
- Validate emotions without backtracking
- Bring the focus back to behaviour and solutions
“I hear that you’re frustrated. Let’s work together to find a way forward.”
If needed, pause the conversation and return later — but never leave issues unresolved.
Step 6: Follow Up Every Time
A difficult conversation without follow-up is just a rant.
To truly create change, you need to:
- Summarise the conversation in writing (brief, factual, respectful)
- Set a clear time for review (e.g. 2 weeks later)
- Acknowledge progress or re-address concerns
- Keep records for your own accountability
When you show consistency, you build credibility.
Step 7: Maintain Confidentiality
In small teams, gossip spreads fast.
Make it clear that:
- The conversation is private
- You won’t be discussing it with others
- You expect the same in return
Confidentiality protects trust — for both the person involved and the wider team.
Bonus: 3 Conversations Founders Must Master
Here are three conversations you’ll likely face in your first year — and how to frame them.
1. The “We’re Not a Fit” Client Chat
“I’ve realised we’re not the right provider to meet your expectations — and I’d rather help you find a better fit than continue delivering care that doesn’t feel aligned.”
2. The Underperforming Staff Talk
“You’re a valued team member, but we’ve seen a pattern that isn’t in line with our standards. I want to support you to turn it around — but we need to make a change.”
3. The Boundary Conversation
“We’re a small team, and I’ve noticed messages are coming in late at night. I want to be available for you — but we need to stick to agreed communication hours so we all protect our wellbeing.”
Culture Tip: Normalise Feedback
Want to make hard conversations easier in the long run?
Normalise feedback.
Build it into your team culture. Make it regular, not reactive.
- Start every supervision with a win and an improvement point
- Ask your team to give you feedback, too
- Share lessons learned (anonymised) in team meetings
Feedback shouldn’t be feared — it should be valued.
Final Thought: Hard Conversations Build Stronger Companies
You didn’t become a founder to avoid discomfort.
You became one to do things better.
And part of that is learning to have the conversations that matter — with clarity, respect, and purpose.
Inside Founder’s Circle, we help care leaders build confidence in communication, set boundaries, and handle difficult situations with strength and empathy.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Join Founder’s Circle at bigsistercare.com/founders-circle
